My ADD life

Mona also was a teacher and a friend. She was around when I was in the 6 th grade. She was our Music teacher. She instilled in me a love of music. Until I met her I had no idea that I could sing. I fell in love with singing with a little help. She also gave me the first lessons in self esteem. Until I met her I felt very little worth. I remember the first time she called me a nut and I was so hurt. Her response was “Nuts grow on trees, trees are part of nature, and God made all of nature”. She was the first to make me understand that ALL things made by God are beautiful.

Julia C is a teacher I had in Elementary school. I just loved/hated her. She was very strict and that is what I hated, because lets face it even then I was lazy. She however, saw through that and helped me see that science was not “bad”. She also fostered in me a love for science fiction and showed me that the imagination could take you anywhere. She helped me learn to cope with my abuse issues, though I never knew that until years later.

The Wise woman is actually Deborah Thompson-Wise and she is one of my mentors in EFM (Education for Ministry). I knew her before EFM but have gotten to know her much better since then. DTW as she signs is a wonderful person. She has taught me more about the Bible, religion, and theology than any pastor or priest ever has. Her insight into the spiritual world is amazing. I wish everyone could learn from her. She has shown me how to give a quite caring for those around you. She has shown me in many ways that I am stronger than I ever thought. She is truly the “Wise Woman”.

Marita is an Angel. She is what I like to call Jesus here on Earth. I have known her for three years and each year I learn more and more about her. I see the love and compassion she has for others and it makes me want, no desire, to be more like her. She has taught me how one person can do so much and yet take so little credit. She has helped me see the beauty in the earth through pictures. She has helped me get excited about life when all I wanted to do was give up on life. She has helped me see the love and commitment that Dawn and I have for each other. In a word she has been my savior many times.

Gayle was the Priest at the first Episcopal Church I attended on a regular basis. She was also the priest that I went through my confirmation with. She helped me see that God does not hold grudges. At the time I was in a low spiritual spot and would not take communion and she said “if you go to a guests house and they prepare a meal don’t you think it would be rude to not eat”. She made spiritual things seem easy to understand. She was and I am sure she still is a great Priest. Her sermons made me sit up and take notice as I always learned something from them. So to her I say thank you for leading me back to God. Thank you for being there when I needed guidance and leadership.

Today’s woman use to be a big part of my life, her name is Barbara. She is my ex’s (Cheryl) mother. I know you are not supposed to like your Mother-in-Law but I did. Barbara ran what we lovingly referred as the Dunwoody humane society and home for wayward homosexuals. There were five people (four of which were gay), six dogs and usually a cat or two living in one house with Barbara being the house mother. She took care of us and we took care of her. I learned that not all parents reject their gay children and some even welcomed friends and partners of their gay children. I miss our talks and our laughs. I learned that it’s ok to be a woman on your own and that you don’t have to have a man around unless you enjoy his company. When Dawn and I got together I sort of lost contact with Cheryl and her Mom and I regret that because I do miss Barbara and I miss her as a Mother.

Today I want to talk about my ex, Cheryl. We were together for four years. During this time we danced, played and lived out our twenties. She taught me that yes white women can dance and she was very good at it. I still can not move my hips like her. She also taught me never to play Trivial Pursuits with someone like her. She never lost. I hate that game now. She loved to travel and we did do some of that together. She showed me that sometimes it’s ok not to plan out a trip. She taught me to have “pride” in who I am. Most of all she taught me to laugh at all situations, from tents lifting on the wind, to cow sounds in hotels. The shocker to all this is that we are still friends, and although we don’t talk often when we do it’s like we have never had silence between us.

Today I celebrate my Therapist Connie. I was thinking what has she done or said that has shaped the woman I am…. Well jus about everything. I have been seeing her for about 9 years and in that time she has helped me through many crises. We talk about everything from history to current events. She is always on my side, and although I pay her to be on my side I think she would be anyway. In our discussions we found that in many ways we are very alike. The thing though that gets her here in this list is that she has helped me to see that I am a good person who can have emotions without falling apart. She has helped me to learn how to trust my own feelings and see that I am a strong woman. I am not through with therapy (God know I probably never will be) but I am a better person for it. I just wish more people in my family did it. So Thanks Connie for all you do, say, and don’t say. And thanks for saving my life.

It’s ironic that I chose today to write about my mother. This morning she went back into the hospital with heart problems this time. I fear that we may be getting to the end of her life, but she still kicking. My mother and I have a strange relationship. As a child I feared her and was always trying to get her approval. As an adult I have felt sorry for her. I look back and see someone who on the outside looks nice, happy and friendly.   However being inside the family I see someone different. I see a woman who I am not sure was ever happy. Don’t get me wrong I love her because she is my mother but it makes me sad that she is not nor can I remember her having joy. I get much of my stubbornness from her, which is not a very good trait. So today I worry about her and I think about her and I love her because that really is all I can do.

Today’s topic; my sister Angela. If anyone had told me thirty some odd years ago that we would be friend I would have laughed at you. When we were younger we fought all the time. We played tricks on each other and told on each other. At one time I thought I hated her. I am not sure when all of that changed but it did. When I was in my twenties I know I did not communicate much with her. This was mainly because I was too caught up in my Lesbian life. After I met Dawn, Angela and Dawn seem to become friends. When we decided to have a Holy Union we invited her (we thought she understood our relationship and somewhat supported it), this set our relationship back several years as she was very against what we were doing. It took many more years for the relationship to repair itself. Now though I think we get along great. When we are together we laugh till we cry and we tell each other our sad stories. I know that she is going through tough times and I wish I could help her. I am thankful tha...

My women for the day are my best friend, partner, lover and soul mate. Dawn and I met at MCC Church in Atlanta in 1990. For me it was love at first sight. We still talk about our first date and laugh until we cry over the memories of that night (it’s too much to get into right now, remind me later). We have been though some really hard times that included being unemployed, sickness, deaths and separations. We also have had some really good times like, vacations, Holy Unions, our animals (or our children) and being together. She has taught me much over the years and I have taught her. We decided that one of my callings from God is to be her spouse, because had I not been there she would not be here today. She knows me better than myself sometimes (which can be scary) and can read me like a book. Without her I feel very incomplete. So this blog I dedicate to her. The she in me.

So it’s women history month and on the way home yesterday I started thinking about products for women. It started when I was watching a women walk in front of my car with these shoes that were spiked and pointy. In my head I thought “you know some man had to come up with that idea because no women would think of that torture”. That led me to thinking about dresses and how I hate them but some women love them and this led to how at one time all people, including men wore dresses (You can see the ADD working in my brain). I wondered when this just became a women thing. Then I went back to the shoes and thought you know if the shoe hurts why wear it. I mean if my feet hurt I am so miserable. If I don’t like what I wear I am miserable. However, being short and rotund, most clothes are not made for me. I really like sticking to my jeans (or khakis if at work) and tees (or golf shirts at work). I should not, although, think ill of those women who do like the fashion they wear. I just don’t u...

For those of you concerned thank you. I feel much better today. I think I needed a day of rest. My soul needs down time and I have not had that in a few weeks. Today I slept till 9 played my game (Wizard 101), read and above all got a hair cut. A hair cut may seem like a small thing but to me it is the best feeling in the world. I don't go to some fancy parlor and pay a huge amount, I just go to the cheapest place. It is the act of having the hair removed that is the difference. To me its like the cares of my life being trimmed off. It sound stupid when I say it out loud but its how I feel. So the other thing is this book I am reading "When Women were Warriors Book 1" by Catherine M. Wilson. I really like it. The story follows this young women who goes to a land away from her family and is companioned with a warrior. It's their story and how they are from two different worlds and yet they come to trust each other and count on each other. There is a passage in the...

What you ask does that mean. Simply "don't ask don't tell". For those of you living under a rock for several years that is the military's answer to gays and lesbian serving in the miltary. When this issue first came up many years ago I had the same responce as I do today.... Why? Can these men and women not defend and die for their country just like a straight person, or a black person, or a jewish person. I really think that the major problem here is that the military is a manily male run organization and lets face it men think that all women and any gay man would be attracted to them. They are so afraid that the man in their unit would make a pass at them that they can't see allowing them in. I did read one article  in Think Progress that stated: "– 60% of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans believe that being gay or lesbian “has no bearing on a service member’s ability to perform their duties.” Only 29% disagree. – 73% of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans say i...

Each day I am amazed at how low some people are. I just saw an article on one of our local websites about an 84 year old woman in a nursing home that was raped. How sick does a person have to be to do that. The really sad part is she did not know it had happened or, hopefully, she was not able to register the act as it happened. This had to be one sick man. What could he possibly gotten out of this act? Other than power and perhaps an orgasm. Is an orgasm even worth that. I just don't understand why you would not want to have sex with someone not capable of responding to you, but then I just don't understand rape. Then I read about women in Haiti being raped because of no security and no lighting. The article talked about how there has always been a problem with rape in the country because the military hands out coupons for food in exchange for sex. I always knew this was a poor country but I really had no idea this went on. It's bad enough that the women there have los...

I am amazed that the South still is as closed minded as it is. I was born in the South and really have no desire to live anywhere else. Having said that this region of the country is constantly embarassing me. Now before I go and upset a bunch of people let me say I know this is the "Bible Belt". So what do I speak of? I'm talking about Constance McMillen  and the cancellation of her prom all because she wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tux. Rather than face the issue and try and solve the problem the school system decides to ruin everyone fun. The bad thing is that everyone knows why they cancelled the dance. Now let me just say that being gay and a teenager is hard enough but being gay in a small southern town has got to be hell. I know it was for me. I have to applaude this girl and her would be date for at least standing up and having a voice. I know this will not be easy for her but in many ways she is paving the way for others.

Here I go with todays issue. I write knowing no one is reading but do I care? Well yes of course I do. But I trudge on. So today in the Blogs I follow one caught my eye. Fiministe reported about a rapist on the UCONN campus. In this story they say that the guy raped an alumna who decided to report it to the campus athorities instead of the local police. The young man confessed to the crime and his punishment by the school was "deferred suspension". Now I don't want to appear as though I think his punishment was fair because I don't. However, why would she not go to the police. The article alluded to the fact that people will go this route to save from going through the stress of the legal system. Having been raped myself I don't understand. It does upset me that this guy has his slap on the wrist and is free to go and rape again, and you know he will. But I am just as upset with the victim for not telling the correct authorities. I am upset with the school bec...

Ok so I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am the Sandra Bullock won the award. Her movie “The Blind Side” was by far the best movie she has ever done. That being said it was high time she won. So I have been spending a bit of time reading about women issues. I mean I am one and you would think that I would have cared about this before now. I guess when I was younger (in my 20’s) and just coming out I did care more. I think though that as I have gotten older I don’t think about it so much. Maybe part of the problem is that I work in an office of almost all men. There is one other woman in my office and we stick together. So I guess what I mean is that when you are around them all day you or at least I tend to forget that I am woman. Not that I think I am turning into a man, God knows I would not want that. I mean guys are ok but….yuck. So anyway back to my reading up on women. I did not grow up in the bra burning age so don’t and have never felt like a feminist. I do believe that ...

Just to show how out of touch with my feminist side I just read where it's Nation Women History Month. I didn't even know there was such a thing. However, I think it's really cool. I guess I don't think about it much because I work almost with all men. I sometimes forget that there are women out there that are strong. After reading Erins' post on her blog it started me thinking who are some strong women that do or have inspired me.  The first woman I thought of was Xena but I think that is more of a lust situation and not a inspiring thing. Then I though about Ashley Judd and all the work she has done for HIV teens and how I read she was back at school just so she could speak better on the topic. The second person I thought of was Sandra Bullock. Even though I think she is so hot I also think that she is a very genuine person. She has achieved an amount of fame and yet she appears to be the same as she has always been. I like that she is so down to earth and carin...