My ADD life

Have you ever noticed that new love is like new life. With new love comes the feel of adventure and excitement in all that is around you. You find you have no time for the old things and instead want to spend every waking hour with this new creature in your life. Sometimes it is just like in the books and films about love. Everything around you seems good and right. I say all this and think well maybe thats how it is for me. Maybe I am the only one that sees life as one big spring season. Like the feelings inside you that are like new blossoms on the long dead tree or the new flowers opening their petals to the warm sun. Even though life is great and grand and all new it has its down side. For each person that downside is different and with each relationship its different. Sometimes its the lack of sleep because of being with or talking to the person all the time. Sometimes its the fact that you lose yourself by becoming so absorbed with this new creature. And sometimes its even the fa...

Been awhile since I wrote and today seemed like a good day. I am on my way to the beach with my good friend. The ride so far has been very good for me. We were able to talk about things we have in common some good and some bad. Its amazing when in life you find someone that you have a real connection with. I am not talking about a sexual thing but more of a mental thing. Gwen and I seem to have that. Never in my life have I met someone that in the first meeting I felt as if I had known them all my life. Again we seem to have that going for us. I feel as if I can tell her anything and I will not be judged. Since losing mother I have felt so lost as if my life has been turned upside down. My life is right now in great turmoil and I am making changes. Some think I am insane in the changes being made but some think it is past time for that. I know that for me my life must change or I will drown in unhappiness. I may be screwing my life up, and if I do that is on me,...

Julia C is a teacher I had in Elementary school. I just loved/hated her. She was very strict and that is what I hated, because lets face it even then I was lazy. She however, saw through that and helped me see that science was not “bad”. She also fostered in me a love for science fiction and showed me that the imagination could take you anywhere. She helped me learn to cope with my abuse issues, though I never knew that until years later.

Marita is an Angel. She is what I like to call Jesus here on Earth. I have known her for three years and each year I learn more and more about her. I see the love and compassion she has for others and it makes me want, no desire, to be more like her. She has taught me how one person can do so much and yet take so little credit. She has helped me see the beauty in the earth through pictures. She has helped me get excited about life when all I wanted to do was give up on life. She has helped me see the love and commitment that Dawn and I have for each other. In a word she has been my savior many times.

Today I want to talk about my ex, Cheryl. We were together for four years. During this time we danced, played and lived out our twenties. She taught me that yes white women can dance and she was very good at it. I still can not move my hips like her. She also taught me never to play Trivial Pursuits with someone like her. She never lost. I hate that game now. She loved to travel and we did do some of that together. She showed me that sometimes it’s ok not to plan out a trip. She taught me to have “pride” in who I am. Most of all she taught me to laugh at all situations, from tents lifting on the wind, to cow sounds in hotels. The shocker to all this is that we are still friends, and although we don’t talk often when we do it’s like we have never had silence between us.

Today’s topic; my sister Angela. If anyone had told me thirty some odd years ago that we would be friend I would have laughed at you. When we were younger we fought all the time. We played tricks on each other and told on each other. At one time I thought I hated her. I am not sure when all of that changed but it did. When I was in my twenties I know I did not communicate much with her. This was mainly because I was too caught up in my Lesbian life. After I met Dawn, Angela and Dawn seem to become friends. When we decided to have a Holy Union we invited her (we thought she understood our relationship and somewhat supported it), this set our relationship back several years as she was very against what we were doing. It took many more years for the relationship to repair itself. Now though I think we get along great. When we are together we laugh till we cry and we tell each other our sad stories. I know that she is going through tough times and I wish I could help her. I am thankful tha...

My women for the day are my best friend, partner, lover and soul mate. Dawn and I met at MCC Church in Atlanta in 1990. For me it was love at first sight. We still talk about our first date and laugh until we cry over the memories of that night (it’s too much to get into right now, remind me later). We have been though some really hard times that included being unemployed, sickness, deaths and separations. We also have had some really good times like, vacations, Holy Unions, our animals (or our children) and being together. She has taught me much over the years and I have taught her. We decided that one of my callings from God is to be her spouse, because had I not been there she would not be here today. She knows me better than myself sometimes (which can be scary) and can read me like a book. Without her I feel very incomplete. So this blog I dedicate to her. The she in me.

So it’s women history month and on the way home yesterday I started thinking about products for women. It started when I was watching a women walk in front of my car with these shoes that were spiked and pointy. In my head I thought “you know some man had to come up with that idea because no women would think of that torture”. That led me to thinking about dresses and how I hate them but some women love them and this led to how at one time all people, including men wore dresses (You can see the ADD working in my brain). I wondered when this just became a women thing. Then I went back to the shoes and thought you know if the shoe hurts why wear it. I mean if my feet hurt I am so miserable. If I don’t like what I wear I am miserable. However, being short and rotund, most clothes are not made for me. I really like sticking to my jeans (or khakis if at work) and tees (or golf shirts at work). I should not, although, think ill of those women who do like the fashion they wear. I just don’t u...

I was thinking of my mother this morning, which lead me to thinking about my life and attitude. I do not want to end up like my mother. She seems so unhappy and seems to have no joy in her life. It made me think what brings me happiness and joy in my life. I have things that come to mind immediately like Dawn. I know that without her I feel less complete and when we both are feeling good (not depressed) then we have a lot of fun just being together. My second thought is of my dogs. They show me what it truley means to love unconditionally. They don't care what I have done or have not done they still meet me at the door with love it their eyes. I also think of my neice and nephew. They make me proud and I love to talk with them. I am not saying that these beings don't make me mad or hurt me its just that I know that losing any of them would hurt me greatly. So I guess the question is what brings you joy and happiness?

For those of you concerned thank you. I feel much better today. I think I needed a day of rest. My soul needs down time and I have not had that in a few weeks. Today I slept till 9 played my game (Wizard 101), read and above all got a hair cut. A hair cut may seem like a small thing but to me it is the best feeling in the world. I don't go to some fancy parlor and pay a huge amount, I just go to the cheapest place. It is the act of having the hair removed that is the difference. To me its like the cares of my life being trimmed off. It sound stupid when I say it out loud but its how I feel. So the other thing is this book I am reading "When Women were Warriors Book 1" by Catherine M. Wilson. I really like it. The story follows this young women who goes to a land away from her family and is companioned with a warrior. It's their story and how they are from two different worlds and yet they come to trust each other and count on each other. There is a passage in the...

Ok so for those of us that work an typical week Friday is usually our best day. My job is very stressful and sometimes Fridays are the worst. We work on deadlines and usually those come on this day. Anyway, today was not to bad. I was able to stay ahead of the game and there was no major bomb that hit. So I was driving home in the rain trying to decide what to write, when I came across some kids out on a rope swing in the rain. They looked as if they could have cared less that it was pouring rain. This made me think about two of the times I also played out in the rain. One was when I was really young, around first grade I think, and I was at my babysitters house. Both my parents worked so I would stay at this ladies house when they were at work (for the life of me I can't remember her name). Anyway when it rained she had this big box of old clothes that she would let us dress up in. I was small for my age so most of the items were way to big for me. Anyway we would strip down to ...