Reading

I have found myself reading a lot of Lesbian fiction (mainly love stories) and I really need to ease up. Its not the sex or anything instead its what it does to me. First it makes me not want to do anything else but read. This is not good seeing as I have a job and all. I just can not get enough. Second it makes me question my love life. I hate that. I know that I am with the person I love and she loves me. The question comes in with are we each others soul mates. Am I truly the best person for her and she for me. I know that I feel very empty without her and miss her when we are apart. Since I grew up with a warped sense of love I just don't know. I look in the mirror and all I see is a plain, overweight, aging, sometimes bitter woman who feels in a hole. Ok yes I know this is depression and I need help. Alright lets just say I am overtired and very bored with life. And yet life just goes on.

PS here is one of the books I have indulged in lately.

Comments

  1. Barbara MosleyFebruary 18, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    Hi. Hope you're doing better. Over 25 years ago I had to stop reading romance books because they depressed me. No guys were like those in the book and happily ever after was a rarity. So thus began my love of mysteries. Not just any mystery would do. Had to be written by a girl and be funny. Although I now have happily ever after with the man of my dreams I still prefer to read entertaining mysteries by girls. I do listen to audio books by guys and read the infrequent steamy novel. Try another genre to escape in a different way.

    Also, part of being with a soul mate is trusting that regardless this one person is the right one. All relationships go through this. Honest ones admit it. On a practical note, when (if) doubts creep in, purpose to step up your practice of self-giving love. Do something extra nice for your mate. Make her favorite dinner. Leave a love note beside her toothbrush. Just something concrete that connects you both and reaffirms to YOU that she's the one.

    Bobbi

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